[MASTER OF CEREMONIES] “Ladies and Gentlemen: Please take your seats. The Show begins… NOW.”
[STAGE LIGHTS go BLACK. CUE TIMPANI: Drum Roll]
[MC] “Ladies and Gentlemen: please turn your attention to the center of the arena…”
[CUE: Fireworks explode onstage with random jugglers and rafter-swinging trapeze artists. CUE: Tina Turner. SOUND: Turn it up to 11…]
“You’re simply the Best
Better than all the rest…”
[MC] “It’s an exciting day at SW Lake! This June issue is chock-full of newsy goodness leaping right off the pages. Presenting: our first ever “BEST of SW Lake” list, powered by YOU, the people; with each and every one of your 45,024 votes locked and loaded, you’ve picked a perfectly packaged, double-dozen destinations that make living in SW Lake, well… simply the Best!”
[MC Loudly Cracks Whip.]
“But wait… there’s MORE!”
[AUDIBLE GASP from Crowd]
“Priceless jewels are reforged and reborn to shine again… Ribbons are sliced to, um, ribbons… Masquerades are fully masqued… Fashion struts the runway to raise scholarships for Student Stars… Families make memories at remarkable reunions… and MORE!”
[ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE as the MC bows deeply, turns to Crowd, and loudly exclaims:] “BOOM!”
[CUE: CANNONS FIRING, to the music of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture]
[Startled by cannon fire, EDITOR awakes, lifts head off keyboard; starts typing]
Ah… Hello everyone! Somehow I seem to be out of column space, so please enjoy our inaugural BEST of SW Lake issue, featuring all your favorites.
We encourage you to stop by and give each one a try… you might just have the Best. Day. Ever!
Best Regards… and I’ll see you Around Town!
P.S. Hey… where did this whip come from?
On the Cover: