Thoughts from a Rock & Roll Wife

It is 9:30 on a Saturday night… and I don’t know where my husband is. He might be at Middleton’s or Main Street Outfitters in Wauconda. Or maybe he’s at The Copper Fiddle in Lake Zurich. I kind of lose track. All I know is that he’s not home. And I’m going to tell you a secret; it’s OK with me.

My husband, Pat Ryan, drummer for bands Better with Bacon and Gritman and Moran, has been performing since long before we met. It’s his thing. It’s his passion. And it has probably kept us married for 29 years.

Drumming brings out the best in Pat. Just ask his fan friends. They say things about him like “nicest guy ever” and “such a funny guy” or even “best drummer I’ve ever seen.” Let me assure you; these are not the first words that come to mind when I describe my husband. “Great dad” or “hardest worker ever,” or even “he’s a little bit grouchy today” are what I might say. But the fun parts of Pat’s personality bubble up when he’s making music and that spills over into our everyday life.

Does this mean that sometimes I miss him on a Saturday night? Sure, but what we get in return more than makes up for it. Of course, some nights I could head out to see him playing in the band. Sometimes I do, and you know, it’s great.

Mostly, though, I leave him to it. Because sometimes it’s hard to pay attention to your wife when you’re a rock star… and that’s OK with me, too.

Publisher’s Note: Claire and Pat Ryan will celebrate their 30th anniversary next September. That’s a Wednesday, so Pat probably won’t be performing. Claire provided the inspiration for the song “Salvation” by the Toronto-based band, Enter the Haggis. To hear it, go to Pat played drums on the record.